They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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