five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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