I just saw a hot homeless man
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
