no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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