I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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