You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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