btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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