Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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