just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize