Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
