Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
