I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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