The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
