That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
