If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
