u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
