yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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