I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drunk is a universal language darling
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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