need another drink. this is the easiest way
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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