Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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