I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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