I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
