he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
