you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
