why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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