We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
