If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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