My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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