do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it's great music for shaving your balls
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
