Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
