my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
