I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
