it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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