I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
