Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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