i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
