Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
