try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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