I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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