I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
