Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ugly people sure do ruin things
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
