i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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