You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
