My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize