This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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