Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
