Screwed.edu
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
