Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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