If that was your dad, he is hot
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
