I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
