ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
sex in a hospital.. check
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
