Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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