already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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