do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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