my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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