yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
