We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My penis needs a shock collar
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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