well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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