Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
