Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's official drugs can't kill me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
