I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
